Greetings! Happy World Mental Health Day. Let’s celebrate by talking about how we self-soothe, which is one of the most potent actions we can take to change the world. It’s also the best way to fast-track your growth. Win win!
What does self-soothing even mean? It means how you care for yourself when you feel off. Do you gloss over, minimize, and pretend it’s not happening? Maybe grab a snack or have a quick scroll?
All of these answers make sense, given how tricky it can be to find a solution that works. It’s akin to finding an exercise style or eating approach that suits you. It takes trial and error, and what works for one person may not work for another.
Here’s what I use – in Alyssa Nobriga’s meditation and written form:
- Slow down. Take a belly breath. Put a hand on your body where you’re feeling tense.
- Tune into the part of you that feels hurt, and let it speak to tell you why. It might sound like, ‘I’m terrified I’m going to be embarrassed – this is mortifying, and I hate it.’ (real-life example right there! 😉
- Let it emote and vent with total acceptance. Everything this part has to say is allowed. Get it out verbally or with a journal.
- Now, shift positions and call on the energy of your higher self—the adult, loving, caring part of you. Let that part speak to the part that’s hurting. You might say, ‘It’s okay to feel how you’re feeling right now; I get it.’
- Go back and forth between the two parts until you feel lighter. Then, take a moment to enjoy the calm and move toward your next right action.
Many of us prefer to avoid our pain rather than deal with it, but there are a few drawbacks to that approach to consider:
- The pain doesn’t go away – it leaks out on your kids, your partner, your unsuspecting coworkers, or onto your body in the form of overeating or drinking. All of these leaks create more pain. UGH.
- Unprocessed pain clouds our thinking – we either take action to relieve our pain or we stay in inaction, which makes the pain deepen.
- When we don’t deal with our pain, we miss out on our lessons, which can stunt our growth and limit our sense of fulfillment.
- Most importantly, we experience less joy when we avoid pain. Tending to it makes it pass faster, so you can get back to skipping through life. That’s what I want for you!
As always, call me if you want to work through this exercise live.
See you next week!
Kit