Let’s talk about sourcing safety from within.
There’s a lot of spooky stuff out in the world – from the big (AI, politics, the NYT homepage today) to the small (personal finances, health concerns, dicey relationships).
In the midst of all this, it can be incredibly freeing to remember that none of these things are the source of our safety. We’re not dependent on them, but we do need ways to remember that truth.
Here are my favorite ways to insource safety:
1) Let the part of you that’s scared speak or journal. Use I statements so you’re talking from the fear, not about the fear. For example, “I’m terrified that xyz is going to happen” vs “There’s a voice inside my head that is saying it’s terrified of xyz”. The former allows the emotion to come up and out. As you release, breathe, and open to the sensations in your body, and validate yourself. It’s totally ok to feel the way you’re feeling. Sometimes, just letting the emotion out is all that’s needed.
2) Try getting curious about the deeper desire of the fear. For example, if you’re scared about a meeting or a new job, your deeper desire (the thing the fear is trying to help you get) might be more self-belief or confidence. Try brainstorming other ways to cultivate those feelings so you don’t have to succumb to inner fear-mongering.
3) Practice self-soothing. Call upon a healing, wise energy (perhaps a high self, inner mentor/parent, or a loving higher power) and get into the posture of that energy. What does this wise self have to say to the part of you that’s scared? For example, “I really hear you and I’m here. Everything is going to be ok. I’m with you.” Here’s a meditation that will walk you through this process. (source: Alyssa Nobriga)
Learning to insource safety will change the trajectory of your life. It informs what jobs you go for, the bold asks you make, and your decisions about how to utilize your time and money. If you’re regularly making choices out of fear, that’s totally ok, (we all do!), but you might consider changing your relationship with fear if it seems like it’s time for a change.
That’s what I’ve got today! I’d love to hear from you if there’s a topic you’d like to explore further.
Lots of love, and upcoming events below,
Kit
