One of the trickiest parts about going after big dreams is that we can’t control when or if they’ll ever manifest.
We may ‘know’ this intellectually, but it feels different when setbacks start to hit, and things aren’t going according to plan. Maybe you didn’t get that job interview, or you thought you’d be further ahead by now. The income should be more steady.
Lots of us harbor an idea about the way things ought to be going. This can become a root for suffering.
Relief comes by reminding ourselves, sometimes again and again, that we don’t control the timing. Truly learning this lesson and integrating it fully can bring extraordinary peace and freedom.
Here are a few ways to access this promised land of surrender:
Question the thought that something different should be happening. Often, when we slow down and ask ourselves, ‘Is it true I should have gotten that interview?’ or ‘Is it true I should have closed a client by now?’ we realize we can’t know whether that’s true. We’re part of a large and complex system that’s (hopefully) working towards the highest good for all. So if your ‘thing’ isn’t happening – it’s not time.
Explore what you can be grateful for at this stage. As soon as you get to your destination, you’re just going to start the journey towards something else, so why not savor where you are? Maybe there’s a way to relish in the struggle because you’re experiencing the gift of going for your dreams. Anytime we’re working for something more than food and shelter is a pretty big gift.
Experiment with high involvement, low attachment. How much action can you take without getting attached to the results? My coach said it like this – “Feedback > Implement, Feedback, Implement.” When we stop taking results personally, there’s a boatload of objective data you can look at to improve your performance.
Take it one day at a time. Sometimes, we imagine the place we’re in is going to last for a long, long time. But the truth is, we have no idea what’s about to happen next. Focusing on living just today to the best of our ability can often bring instant relief.
Ask yourself – is it worth your serenity? Is stressing over your career change, job search, or the growth of your small business really worth your peace of mind? Sometimes just asking ourselves that question can help us snap out of it.
This can all be a lot easier said than done. But the good news is, if you can digest even one of these ideas and try to use it regularly, you’ll experience more ease. Setting goals helps you grow, and growth tends to lead to a higher quality of life over time. Your future self will thank you for doing the deep work of learning how to surrender.
Kit
